". . . There are times when we can feel destiny close around us like a fist around a doorknob. Sure, we can resist. But a knob that won't turn, a door that sticks and never budges, is a nuisance to the gods. The gods may kick in the jamb. Worse, they may walk away in disgust, leaving us to hang dumbly from our tight hinges, deprived of any other chance in life to swing open into unnecessary risk and thus into enchantment."
- Tom Robbins,
Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates
I had a decent day at work today, so decent, in fact, that I got to leave early. It wouldn't make it on a top-ten list of Daily Grind Super-Fun Days, but it was a huge improvement over yesterday, when I slept through the time when I was supposed to be opening the store, y'know, making coffee and muffins, getting things ready. The boss was cranky as can be yesterday, and a co-worker got in a big ugly argument with her. I tried to steer clear, but it was all quite frustrating and uncomfortable. Today was downright delightful in comparison.
I treated myself to a Hennepin after being cut loose, and then walked home up the several hundred stairs of the Approach with a buzz on. It surprises me that one beer gave me a buzz, but I'm not complaining. I guess it should figure, since I partake of about a drink a month. On the walk, I called Tiffany, who was about 15 minutes away from doing her bassoon jury, which means she'll be performing a piece and some scales for the bassoon faculty at her school. She was in a good mood about it, and it was nice to talk to her at a different hour. For a while, we were chatting during the day rather often, but her cellular bill kicked her ass, and we've been keeping to evenings. Usually, they're evenings when I have worked and will work again, so we keep it short and sweet. It's been less frequent recently, due in part to my spending more time hanging out with friends.
And speaking of friends influencing my life, I only got about two or three hours of unusual sleep last night. I'm sure I dreamed, and I'm sure it was confusing, but I actually got up earlier than usual. It was a pleasant morning, in spite of my exhaustion. Two double espressos and a Hennepin contributed to my surviving the day with a smile.
So I don't know if I'm going to keep up this journaling thing, now that I'm writing in the good ol' "something or another," but perhaps. I occasionally throw something personal into my obsessively-updated "aah music blog", but it doesn't really fit there. I use that primarily for reporting on things Nimly, and I don't expect the average person who stumbles onto it to want to hear about my day. This here is a "something or another," though, so I think it's ok.
I listened to old saved phone messages after work today as I sipped my drink. Many of them were from a fellow whose website I'm helping design, but there was also one from Jordan, Tiffany's son, that went something like, "Hi, Andrew, I'm just calling to say I love you! And why do you have such a dumb answering machine message? Did you get the I love you part? Well, call my mom back tonight, because I shall be in bed. I love you. Goodnight." It made me smile.
He's a cool kid.
My cat is sitting in a cardboard box, staring at me. It really is quite adorable.
So this is my attempt to be "reflective," which is something important, I think. I've been kind of down lately: missing Tiffany, frustrated about my life, anxious about the future. It's good to be sad sometimes, though, but it seems my friends worry about me when they see it. I don't think the advice, "Don't be sad," is any good at all for me, so I ignore it and be sad, anyway. However, I have an unfortunate habit of letting it linger while I do other things, like sit up for hours and read entries about time travel and quantum physics on Wikipedia. I haven't been getting enough sleep, and I have no one to blame but myself for that one. A nap is certainly in order for today.
Tiffany sent me her map of Chicago and a detailed set of instructions for getting around when I come to visit her this month. I'm travelling on the 26th, and when I arrive, she'll be at work. I think the plan is to find her at work, get her keys, go back to her apartment, and wait for her there. Or something like that. Maybe I'll wander around the city on my own before going to her apartment. The instructions are cute because Tiffany drew little pictures of all of her important keys so I can recognize them. It was an odd thing to get in the mail.
I bought some new loose tea today: Fermosa Oolong. I've been experimenting lately with loose teas, and this will be my third bag. The first two were Russian Spice and Lapsang Souchong, both stupendous in their own way. I'm looking forward to trying this new one, but not until after a nap. The big plan for tonight is rehearsal with Nathan Stodola, who I'm playing a show with tomorrow night. We're hoping to debut two new covers. I don't have any new solo stuff.
Alright, enough chitter chatter. Time to nap. Maybe I'll write more soon. Maybe I won't.
