aah something or another
Holy crap, I jogged!
Holy crap, I jogged!
I dream of reuniting with people, including folks I know from YAG, cast members of Deep Space Nine, and Gene Wilder, who tickles me a lot with another guy and say how crazy it is for me to let my guard down around "see-through hatists and hate-ists."
I've been creating a new Nomic today that is played through blogger, and it reminds me that I have this something or another blog, and I don't post in it all that much. When I remember a dream, I usually throw it in here, but that's about it. I had an interesting thought in the shower today, and rather than just forget about it, I'm going to share it. That's what I used to use the something or another for: sharing ideas I have. I'll do that again today!
I've tried a few times to get working on a Nodal Nim song that incorporates dice. Since my music is so spontaneous and "random," it seems like a logical thing to do. I like dice, and I love to improvise, so it seems logical and fun. Then I got to thinking about randomness. What's really "random"? What does that mean?
I don't think human thought processes are "random" at all. They're more complex than that! They emerge from the forces of chaos, like every system does, but they're really quite remarkably different! Image that a person is asked once every day to say a random number from 1 to 100, just the first that comes into eir head. Say this person is asked this every day for 10 years! That's a lot of numbers! Do you think the numbers would be evenly distributed? I say definitely not! If I try to think of a random number from 1 to 100 and I say "57", there is a specific reason that I said that, although I'll never know what it was. I don't believe human beings can generate true statistical randomness.
So as "random" as my crazy music may seem to be, it's actually not random at all. All the stuff that I improvise on the spot, when I sing the first thing that pops into my head, it's there for a reason. It's not true randomness, but invisible brain processes that I could never understand! Personally, I think that's so much cooler than randomness! Why the hell would I have said 57? Why the hell would I sing "Wow" about squares in the sidewalk? I don't know, and I think it's so cool that I'm capable of doing things I don't understand!
Maybe that's why I haven't been inspired to finish any dice-based songs, because I prefer playing with internal human processes to the outside forces of the universe, such as thrown dice. That makes some sense to me.
I still may work out a song that involves dice. I've already decided that such a song would have to incorporate a lot of improvisation for it to flow right and feel good to play and listen to. That's ok, I love doing that! So we'll see.
Ho Chi Minh, ex-goldfish of Jen:
You were a good fish. White and cute and swimmy, you made us all smile. You did your fish things, we did our people things, and somehow it all worked out. You lived a long goldfishy life, but today that life ended, and we are left with memories of your scaley smile and fins. Thanks for all the good times, Ho, and may we see you again on the other side someday.
Rest in peace.
I dreamed this afternoon that two long-ago ex-girlfriends work together at Walmart. I ask one separately how they're getting along, what they think of each other, and she says, "She's so weird!!" And i laugh and acknowledge that. So I start working there, too, and it's kind of fun, but I keep forgetting to go clean the feces from all the animal cages, like I signed up for and said I was going to.
I dreamed I'm in my voice studio class, and everybody is singing through a song. It's really weird, and it is accompanied by a video presented on an entire wall. There is a section with a booming robotic voice bellowing, "Activate the coloring book!" and it is so incredibly terrifying that whenever we come to that section, I can't help but try to get away, by hiding my head in the chairs and trembling.
After studio, Miss Massell invites us somewhere, and we get in her car, which is tiny. I sit under a hole cut in the roof, and my head sticks up through it.
I dreamed that I had a jam session with Jandek! It was Jandek on guitar and me on mandolin, and it was so awesome! Honestly, it felt in the dream like it was the best jam session I had ever had in my life! I could feel that it wasn't real, but I wanted to believe it was so badly. When I woke up, I was sad to discover that I had never really jammed with Jandek at all.
