So I've been working at a coffee house, not getting a lot of hours. It's a pleasant job sometimes, but it's not what I want to be doing. I've been procrastinating on finding substitute teaching work. Theoretically, substitute teaching might be great. I'd have evenings free, I'd be able to take days off whenever I want, and I'd get paid more. I'd also be making school connections and getting teaching experience, good for me and my resume. I'm kind of terrified. I've been terrified of my supposed profession for years. When I actually teach, when things go well and I feel confident about things, it's a wonderful experience, and I think, "How could I even think of doing anything else?" When it goes shitty, it's shitty. But when anything goes shitty it's shitty. I have days like that making coffee, too.
Anyway, I'm waiting to hear back from the Troy City School District personnel office. I forced myself to wake up and call today. I think it'll be a good direction to go in.
Next week, I'm visiting Tiffany and Jordan in Chicago. I'm excited about that. I haven't seen her since August. For a while, I tried to put the whole situation out of my mind, but now I know I need to make real plans. If all goes well, I may move out there come summer. I need to get out of Troy. One summer and one schoolyear is plenty, I think. Also, I'm lonely, and there isn't much I can do about it.
I dreamed that a neighbor in an adjacent yard here in Troy built some contraption that went deep into our backyard. It looked like it might have been the beginning of a playground. So their kid was there in a hammock or something, and I was pretty pissed that they decided to build into our yard, so I asked the kid if she knew anything about it. She told me that the whole yard was theirs, and although I knew that when I was in high school we owned half of the yard (there's no fence), I couldn't be sure my mom didn't sell our half since then. I got pissed and stormed off, then found that somebody I barely knew had dropped a key off at our house.
Somebody is raising a child without a diaper.
And I dreamed that I was having a baby girl. An old friend of mine was carrying her, but Tiffany and I were going to raise her. She would skip ahead a few years in development and learn to talk and stuff, but I don't remember much of anything about her.
I was in Chicago for this, but I realized that I had no memory of flying there, which made me realize it was a dream. Rather than be a fun lucid dream, it basically stopped it from continuing. Stuff would happen, but I wouldn't believe it. I miss the days of lucid dreaming when I could walk around consciously while interacting with things.
